This outline is prepared by me (Prashant) from my experience in counselling and from my notes on reading the popular book: “Men are from Mars” by Dr. Gray. The general idea is that men and women are the products of different models: Hence, their natures are different; they see things differently; and they act and react differently. If you take the trouble to understand the differences, you save yourself a lot of misunderstandings and trouble. And, as a consequence you will do much better in all your men-women relationships.
Some comments received:
Just saw this article. To say it is merely excellent understates the wisdom and impact that it has on the reader. It goes into the fundamental nature of men and women, which can be opposing or complementary as the case might be. I like the way that you have shown the qualities and reactions of each side by side – it really adds to the clarity that a much larger volume will lose sight of. This piece was an absolute gem. It was timely for me because… M. G. Machayya
Enjoyed reading. Obviously you have more experience in that you meet with many people. Well thought out and simple. Dr. S. Rajan
The main differences are:
Women talk to vent out their emotions; and men interrupt them by offering solutions. (This is a man’s biggest mistake.)
Women make comments to try to change a man; that is to make him change his habits. (This is a women’s biggest mistake.)
Men want occasional big expressions of love (sex). The superficial fondling doesn’t satisfy them.
Women want frequent little expressions of love — they want a lot of pampering and appreciation.
To feel better, men withdraw into themselves or get busy doing something. (It gives them a shelter or temporary relief.)
To feel better, women must discuss it — whether the man likes it or not. (They must do it to vent or relieve their emotions.)
For men, if she is not asking or complaining about something, he thinks that he is doing okay. (However, she may be frustrated and anxiously waiting for him to respond to some dissatisfaction that she had shown!)
For women, if she has to ask for expressions of love and affection she interprets that she is being taken for granted. (Then she will try to get even by playing hard to get or by behaving difficult.)
Men want to be appreciated and trusted. (If you tell them they did a good job or you trust their judgement, it raises you in their eyes.)
Women want to be cherished or flattered. (If you don’t praise them, they will show their need by telling you of other people who do it!)
When a man wants something they cannot have, they withdraw into themselves or show anger. (Women react to this expression, but they refuse to see the part they played in making it happen!)
When women want something, they nag or do verbal bashing to have their way. (Men resent this very much, but usually they don’t give in easily.)
Men are from Mars
Men value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement. Hence, they do things to prove themselves. They will develop their skills to improve their power. They derive self-worth from the ability to earn or achieve results.
Thus, men are more interested in ‘objects’ and ‘things’ rather than people and feelings. They fantasize about speed and power whereas women fantasize about romance. Thus, men like powerful cars, faster computers, sports, and more powerful technology. They get preoccupied with ‘things’ that help them to express their power to create results and accomplish something.
However, when a man gets focused on his work or on solving problems, the woman thinks that he is neglecting her or that he doesn’t care about her feelings!
Women are from Venus
Women value attention, communication, looks, and relationships. They derive self-worth from how they are regarded. Hence, they spend a lot of time in supporting, helping, and nurturing. Talking and relating is their most satisfying preoccupation.
Women think emotionally and not logically. They are attracted by subjects like psychology, personality development, religious practices and health. They like to nurture things. So they keep plants, like gardens and love flowers. They also love shopping and to be with children.
Women are intuitive. Hence, they find it easier to anticipate the needs and feelings of others. They can offer help or assistance to others without being asked. (Men usually have to be asked for help!) Women also accept help more readily when it is offered. (Men can refuse the help – since they prefer to demonstrate their own ability to do things).
Keep these different models in your mind and you will do much better in all your men-women relationships.
What are the chances that you will marry the wrong person? It’s certainly a high possibility; and most of us in modern society are seriously afraid of it.
But, why does the ‘wrong person’ happen to us? Is there a flaw in how we choose our partner? Have we gone wrong somewhere? Many of us recall the lasting relationship our grandparents enjoyed. So we ask: “what was the traditional glue that kept them together?” Can we also have such a traditional-marriage relationship in the modern times? Can I make my existing marriage a success? To find answers to these questions, read further:
Why does the ‘wrong person’ happen to us?
Is there a flaw in how we choose our partner?
Where exactly have we gone wrong?
Can I have a traditional marriage relationship in modern times?
How to make your marriage a blessing?
Why does the ‘wrong person’ happen to us?
Marrying the wrong person has become a high possibility, and today most of us have become afraid of it. It has made us very cautious, and we feel the need to take time to know our partner. Unfortunately, taking more time to decide doesn’t really help us because we come to know BOTH the good and the bad side. Hence, we are unable to decide and remain confused.
Some of us try to improve our odds of success by setting off the undesirable points against the desirable points. In this way we try to see if the marriage is still a bargain. However, the uncertainty remains; and most of us still land up marrying the wrong kind of person!
The wrong person happens to us because we do our thinking from one side; from our side. We overrate the issue of choosing correctly and underrate the need for keeping trust in the relationship. Our expectations are usually unrealistic and we can easily fool ourselves in believing that we are getting a good deal. In any case we still cannot anticipate the issues that can arise only after our relationship has been fixed.
Is there a flaw in how we choose our partner?
When we are youthful, we pick our partner on the basis of sexual attraction or ‘chemistry’. We get infatuated with physical beauty or attractiveness. So, we underrate all the other qualities in the partner. However, our criterion changes as we mature (and women mature much faster). Women usually give more value to the status attached to having the partner (financial security, reputation, etc.). But men still remain obsessed with looks – as though a pretty face is the trophy. Later on, as wisdom arises, both sides begin to value the marriage more for the company it offers. Then the important factors are having ‘similar goals’, ‘common interests’ or a partner who ‘complements our abilities’.
However, the common mistake is that we select a person with our ‘youthful criteria’; and this criterion does not serve us when we have matured – because our preferences have changed. The modern society has the remedy and it is called DIVORCE. But this remedy has totally changed how we regard marriage; and it still leaves us without someone to share our life with! We still want happiness through marriage; we want a family life (with children); and we want relationships that last a lifetime (with relatives).
Where exactly have we gone wrong?
Many of us have come to understand that marriage is basically a traditional concept, and that it does not fit in properly into the fabric of modern society. Marriage has served the human society since thousands of years, even before the organised religions took shape. However, the modern trend, as expressed through social media and movies, tries to sell us a different story. They see traditional values with the modern eyes; and they wish to tell you that marriages in the past also didn’t work out! However, if you are not easily deceived by the falsehood they have created, you can see that they speak like the FOX who says: “The grapes are sour”; whereas the truth is that the grapes are just outside their reach.
Most of us can still recall the lasting relationship that was enjoyed by our grandparents or in the traditional society. So, we ask: “What was the traditional glue that kept these people together?” The glue or the binding force in traditional society was the COMMITMENT that the partners made BEFORE A HIGHER AUTHORITY. This commitment transformed the ‘issue of choice and pleasure’ into the ‘issue of acceptance and duty’. It does not overcome the differences in opinion that normally arise between the partners of the opposite sex. However, it changes how you regard your partner and the marriage.
In traditional society the partner is regarded as ‘God given’. You accept the other person and the role you are in just as you accept your children. Differences arise of course, but it is always for you as individuals in the relationship to keep the unity and make the necessary adjustments. It is admitted that traditional society asks the women to do most of the adjusting and hold the family together. However, that was the role given to them, and so they did not grudge it. They did it as a part of their duty to their own welfare and their commitment before a higher authority.
The modern times have discarded the traditional values saying that now it’s the ‘women’s era’. The women must assert their rights and claim their entitlements. The traditional role of women as ‘home maker’ is a ‘lose-win’ situation for the women. Why should a women feel committed to the husband’s or the family’s welfare. Her only concern is herself. However, they assert this concern without balancing their share of entitlements!
This new outlook has made marriage imbalanced. The traditional Dharma is lost. And the relationship naturally deteriorates into a ‘lose-lose’ situation.
Without Dharma and commitment there is no foundation for bringing two egos together for a lasting relationship. We have to look at what the marriage makes possible for all parties and not simply claim our share for ourselves. A stabile marriage is good for both partners, for the children, and for the larger family. It also provides the support structure that each partner needs to endure difficult times and to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
The modern mind will say: “Why not ask men to do the adjusting?” And the traditional mind asks: “Are the roles decided according to the nature of man and woman? Is traditional Dharma set by a higher intelligence or is it something that is to be decided by social convention or experiment?”
Modern society is basically atheistic; it believes that everything is to be decided by the human intelligence; and that men have only pampered themselves in traditional societies. So, there was imbalance in the past in favour of men and now it must change in favour of women. But what is basically imbalanced will remain unstable.
Can I have a traditional marriage relationship in modern times?
The traditional idea of Dharma is to maintain a balance between right and wrong; between duties and rewards; between rights and obligations in society. So Dharma is not fixed rules of social conduct. It is a living truth that changes its expression in society with the changing times.
You can know your Dharma by asking your heart, the God within.
When you act in the atmosphere of Dharma you don’t have to put a claim on your rights and rewards; they have a flavour of love when arise on their own. However, if you become demanding the ego gets in. It upsets everything.
When you go looking for the right husband or wife, don’t forget that you also have to be the right person! Don’t focus on finding the right person; focus on being the right person. Do the first things first and you will certainly find what is provided for you.
How to make your marriage a blessing?
If you are in a marriage and are experiencing your share of difficulties, you can still change everything. Consider your partner as ‘GOD GIVEN’ (even if you got your partner through personal choice);
believe in KARMA, that natural justice exists (and so everyone, including you, gets just what they deserve);
ACCEPT what you get graciously (when there is acceptance, the issue of getting the ‘wrong person’ doesn’t exist – you simply get what is made for you); and
TRUST the higher authority that is overseeing your life (ask it to guide your actions and make you do the right things).
In short, consider your marriage as a BLESSING;
accept your DUTY as ‘God given’ and perform it well;
and TRUST that you will get what is due to you in the natural course.
This is a write up of the talk given by Prashant Shah (http://spiritual-living.in) on several occasions and before many groups in both India and USA
Most of our life is an interdependent reality. We have to work with people, live with people and deal with people. Further, we often share responsibility with others, but we don’t have the authority to direct them. We can work well by ourselves, but when we have to get things done through others we experience many difficulties. Hence, the common saying is: “The people problems are the worst!”
Human relationships can be either enjoyed or suffered; they can be either encouraging or frustrating. What we get will always depend on how we conduct ourselves! To succeed with people, first we have to understand the psychology of the ‘other person’. Next, we have to see things from the other person’s point of view and understand what motivates their behaviour. Only thereafter we can know what we need to do to get the right response from the other person.
The skill in dealing with people can be learnt and it will be very valuable for everyone in society — for a businessman, a professional, a colleague, a housewife, and a member of any group in society. And this skill will become increasingly important as we climb up to the higher positions in our social system. The business tycoon, J. D. Rockefeller, once said: “I will pay more for that ability (to succeed with people) than for any other ability under the sun.”
Why do we neglect learning interpersonal skills?
In college we are educated to think rationally. We are trained to direct our efforts towards personal efficiency, towards learning scientific techniques, and towards earning money. But in the process our emotional nature remains uneducated. Hence, we do not easily understand the ‘psychological side’ of human nature. For this reason in modern society people’s inner life gets easily messed up. They just don’t know how to be happy by themselves or by relating with people.
Why is this subject not taught in our colleges?
There are some things that we really appreciate only after things have gone wrong in our life; after we have made a mess in our relationships. People feel the need to invest in the emotional side of life only after they have stumbled a few times. The common saying is: “Wisdom arises only after our hair has already turned a little grey with experience!”
Further, there is not much in the form of newer ideas to learn here. The bigger task is to implement these ideas in your life. To succeed in human relationships it does not matter how much you know; what matters is how well you implement what you know. Hence, it is not a matter of learning the technique. Professional psychologists will not necessarily do better than you!
What is the KEY to success here?
It is to become genuinely concerned about other people’s feelings; to change how you regard them; and to change your assumptions about other people. Without this basic change you can only make some small cosmetic changes in your relationships.
It is admitted that it is always difficult to change yourself. The normal human tendency is to want the other person to do all the changing! A course participant once said: “I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you teach this course to my mother-in-law.” I could only smile, but in my mind I said: “You are paying me too much for that, but it’s a very small price for changing your relationship with your mother in law; and it may also not work out because she will want you to do all the changing.” To succeed with others the only price you have to pay is to change yourself. However, when you succeed here, I assure you that you’ll never be alone in your life or be lonely wherever you go!
This talk is based on some of the ideas that were originally developed in Dale Carnegie’s classic: “How to win friends and influence people”. Other topics that are discussed in our larger workshop are:
People often ask: “Why are we born in a particular country or family? Why are some people healthy, rich or successful whereas some others are handicapped, poor or unfortunate? Why do we easily forge bonds with some people and find it so difficult to get on with some others? Why do some of us have an easy life while others have to struggle all the way?”
You can understand many such things by considering the Law of Karma. The law tells us that much of the destiny we experience today is the result of what we had done in the past; that we have all along been shaping our destiny, but earlier we were not aware of the process. In this workshop you understand the law of karma and how to use it to remove the unnecessary suffering from your life.
When you are ignorant of this law you make mistakes that violate the law. Then you suffer the consequences. As you develop some awareness of the law you conduct yourself better. Then you make fewer violations, and it reduces your suffering and helplessness. When you acquire mastery over this law you become the CAPTAIN of your ship. Then you can steer around the obstacles in your life and become a source of happiness to yourself.
The discussion is directed to the questions: What are the causes behind the events of my life? Is there natural justice or do I have to fight for my rights in society? When I faced with different choices, what criteria will guide me in making the correct choice? How can I learn to live a happy, meaningful and a fulfilling life?
Law of cause and effect. The necessity of making the correct choice.
Justice and the law of exchange. The moral law, laws of nature and man-made laws.
Predestination and free will. Karma in public life. Karma and the art of living.
Karma in relationships; nature’s memory; karma and reincarnation; the law of providence
Some Opinions received:
I see some karmic debts that I have to repay and I’m going to set right some balances. Frank, firstname.lastname@example.org.
This course has great wisdom. It’s very well organised and you explained these very subtle issues in a very simple and interesting manner. Ludy, Ludy_mr@hotmail.com
Excellent – I understand that we are not here to move around as an unwinding doll. There is a cause and effect for everything and we how we play always makes the difference. Carmen, email@example.com
This is my favourite course. I’ve done it again and will do it again in the future. It has put my whole life in perspective, and now I understand how to give direction to my life. David, firstname.lastname@example.org
Each time I do this course I hear it from a different angle and so it has grown to be much more valuable. Bob, email@example.com
This course shows how our current thoughts and actions create our destiny. Hence, we can overcome anxiety of the future by exercising control over our present actions. The course is deep and profoundly transforming. Madanda, mgmachayya @hotmail.com
2. Concentration and Mind Training
The fine art of succeeding with yourself
In this workshop you learn the art of concentration and use it to develop your inner life. The inner life is important since your happiness and well-being depends more on your thoughts and emotions, and less on your external circumstances.
First, you learn to concentrate and take control over your attention. Next, you become aware of the influence of thoughts and emotions in your life. Then you exercise your control over the negative thoughts and emotions that occupy your mind. It will develop your ability to think clearly, to understand things better, and to be more focused on whatever you do.
Shah is a cheerful teacher who shares his knowledge in a light hearted and easy-to-learn manner. I highly recommend his sessions. Edrina Rush, firstname.lastname@example.org
Shah is a true master of his teachings. You have to see to believe. Yvette Koshab
I’m very happy with the delivery and content of this workshop. I got a lot of benefit from doing this workshop. Shawn Edwards, email@example.com
The topic was difficult, but it was delivered very simply and very well. Tokes Coker, firstname.lastname@example.org
I thoroughly enjoyed this workshop and recommend it highly for life enhancement. Jessica Hothersall, email@example.com
This course on spiritual yoga was actually what I was seeking for furthering my spiritual journey. Now I’m really looking forward to the advanced course. Beryl Ross, firstname.lastname@example.org
Shah is the real deal. He is precise and has crystal clear clarity of thought. It is a great program for those who are ready for it. Marcus Ubl, Marcus.email@example.com
The speaker was very clear and concise. I think I will be able to use these practices to bring changes in my life. Please organise other workshops with this speaker. Sri Spencer, firstname.lastname@example.org
This was the best speaker. Dr. Shah puts over complex ideas in an interesting way that allows them to be easily grasped. Linda Camping, email@example.com
I was surprised at how useful the course content was. The whole concept of dealing with thoughts and emotions was mind-blowing. Shana, firstname.lastname@example.org
This course made me appreciate many things that I used to take for granted. Elizabeth, email@example.com
Now I have a clear focus — yoga is for achieving something greater than the ambitions of the mind and body. It is like going beyond the mind. Ludy, firstname.lastname@example.org
I understood the importance of withdrawing from the outer noise and focusing on my inner life. I think now I know how to put my inner things in order. Carmen, email@example.com
You’ve given us a very refreshing and unusual insight into Yoga. I’m eager to put all this wisdom into practice. David, firstname.lastname@example.org
This time (third) it was a relearning experience. It has inspired me to renew my commitment to my practice. Bob, email@example.com
3. The Art of Succeeding with People
Learning Interpersonal Skills
Most of our life is an INTERDEPENDENT reality. We have to work with people, live with people and deal with people. At work we work with partners, in teams and with associates. Very often our situation is that we share responsibility with others, but we don’t have the authority to direct them. Hence, if we are not skilful, we experience many difficulties in getting things done through others. The saying is: “The people problems are the worst!”
Skill in dealing with people is very valuable for everyone in society — for a businessman, a professional, a colleague, a housewife, and a member of any group in society. This ability becomes increasingly important as we occupy the higher positions in the social system. Businessman J. D. Rockefeller once said: “I will pay more for that ability (to succeed with people) than for any other under the sun.”
In this workshop you learn the art of dealing with people effectively to generate win-win solutions. Further, you learn to leverage your skills such that the rewards are much greater than the effort. The guidelines are easy to understand, but they will make a BIG DIFFERENCE in your relationships at work and in your personal life only when you apply them consistently.
The importance of interpersonal skills
The psychology of the other person
The art of negotiation
Man and woman relationships
The win-win option
The stages in maturity
Some Opinions received:
This was the best course. I got the most from it. It really answered the questions that have been puzzling me for years. This workshop was practical, useful and a lot of fun. (Robert Leyster of Lester Watson Inc. New York. firstname.lastname@example.org
I’ve stopped wanting people around me to change to fit to what I want. Now I try to see what they want of me. I also see the importance of giving space to other people to be as they want to be. Frank, email@example.com.
This workshop goes far beyond the obvious. I’ve learnt to be more tolerant, tending and caring. Elizabeth, firstname.lastname@example.org
This course was really empowering. All my faults in dealing with others have become obvious. Now I’m going to change some things. Carmen, email@example.com
This is the second time I’ve done this course and I am glad to say that it has really helped me in fine tuning my ability in deal with people. It has made me much more effective. David, firstname.lastname@example.org
You really tied up these things very well. I’ve been reading this (self-help) stuff for a long time, but your course has cleared up most of my doubts. The ideas are very clear now and I feel confident that I can get them to work. (N. C. Mehta, CEO, Bell Ceramics, Baroda).
I like your style of presentation — very direct, precise and to the point. You made these very complicated and confusing things seem very simple. I really enjoyed both of your programs. However, I wish I could have you convey this message to my boss! (KYA, New York)
I found this course to be very revealing. I’ve read many psychology books, but the understanding that you provided here was very clear. I felt you were speaking directly to me and addressing my issues. (S. Gopalkrishana, Plant Superintendent, Baroda)
4. Restore your Health Naturally
A Simple Solution to your Health Problems
Your health depends mainly on you; on your lifestyle, diet and eating habits. However, these days you are given to believe that your health depends mainly on doctors and the health care system. Thus, you have become very dependent on the medical profession. And at the same time the health care system has become very expensive, highly specialised and too technical for your comprehension. So you naturally feel vulnerable, helpless, and confused.
However, there are alternatives; they always existed! Your health is not something that depends on the progress of modern science. There are much simpler ways. They talk in terms reducing the toxaemia in the body and strengthening its vital force. Here we you learn to use these alternatives. Believe it or not here you will learn how to detox your body and restore your vital force naturally – WITHOUT depending on medicines or the medical profession.
Holistic healing: healing vs. curing; health in terms of the vital force; how toxaemia develops;
Simple ways to detox the body: Diet, nutrition and eating habits; fasting and the healing crisis
Water therapy; cleansing diets; and the ‘no breakfast’ plan
Healing the body by changing the consciousness; correcting emotional disorders
Duration: 8 hours
The workshop is based on Prashant’s book ‘Healing without Drugs’ and ‘How to Restore your HealthNaturally’.
Some Opinions Received:
(It was) a very interesting presentation; a most welcome and rare insight into the science of health and healing. I say it is A++. Elizabeth, email@example.com
I’ve read of the concept of toxins before, but now I really understand its implications on my health and recovery. David, firstname.lastname@example.org
The effect of not eating the right kind of food and the consequences of increase in the toxin level in the cells was very well explained. This certainly becomes more important in old age. Carmen, email@example.com
(It was) a superb discussion — very practical and accessible. Frank, firstname.lastname@example.org
Both the book and the course presentation were very good. However, the presentation filled in many gaps that arose when I read the book. Now the ideas have become very clear and more workable. Ludy, email@example.com
5. Living by Intuition
Intuition is the guiding voice of the soul. When we listen to our intuition, our life becomes more interesting; we see a purpose to everything; and we feel a sense of wonder. Although everyone is intuitive to an extent, this ability can be greatly enhanced by doing some spiritual practices.
The basic step for becoming intuitive is to shift the focus of our life from our ordinary nature, which is governed by mental preferences, to our higher nature, which sees the ways of the soul. Once we get into a condition where we can spontaneously call for intuition, we can allow it to guide our actions and give a deeper meaning and purpose to our life.
Installing the spiritual seed; creating the necessary mental space; some preparation & results
Considering intuition as coming from a higher intelligence; how to make your intuition reliable
Purifying the mind and correcting the disturbances arising from the mental-self
The place of self-consciousness & intuition in occult philosophy
6. The Spiritual Tradition of the Ancient Hindus
Traditional wisdom is concerned the knowledge of the higher worlds and its attainment; and insight into the higher purpose of human existence. This knowledge was originally uncovered through the higher faculties that were developed by the ancient Sages. They passed down this knowledge through a tradition, and the people know of it as doctrines, beliefs and practices.
The past century has seen explosive developments based on a materialistic attitude. Correspondingly, the interest in pursuing the spiritual goal of life has become lost. The light of the spiritual heritage in humanity has become dim, and it may become lost to future generations. However, what was so great about this heritage that it had been fancied by many great men through the centuries? Here we show the tradition of the men of antiquity that prevailed in ancient India.
Introducing the law of karma; whatever happens is justice
Dharma; freedom and contentment got by practising dharma
The modern world as seen through traditional eyes
Marriages modern and traditional; the method of traditional learning
7. The Biochemic Way to Health
In the 18th century, Dr. Schuessler analysed the ashes of the human body and found the presence of twelve mineral salts in them. He called them the ‘biochemic tissue salts’ and showed their value in the healthy functioning of the body. Whenever a deficiency of any of these salts arises in the body tissues, certain typical symptoms arise. You can use these symptoms to identify the specific tissue salt deficiency. Then all you have to do is to supplement the tissue-salt in a dynamic form (6X potency), and the body will on its own find its way to return to natural health.
Here you learn how to use the book: The Biochemic Prescriber for finding your remedy. You can treat common everyday ailments and simple constitutional disorders with these Biochemic Tissue Salts. The method is simple and safe. You can use it to help yourself, your family and your friends and overcome your helplessness in health matters.
The principles of Biochemic Remedies and Holistic Healing
The functional disorders of the body, and their relationship with the ‘biochemic remedies’
Treating constitutional disorders and some everyday ailments with the Biochemic Tissue-salts
This course is based on wisdom of the book: Tao Te Ching. The Tao is a universal awareness that underlies all things. Hence, by aligning your ways with the way of the Tao you can attain inner freedom, transcendental peace, and deep contentment in your life. However, the Tao is very subtle. It can only be grasped with a mind that is without personal motives. So, how can you pursue the Tao?
Master Lao Tzu gives the clues: First, follow the law of heaven and purify your motives. Next, find a Sage, a living master. Then, track the ways of the Sage, for the Sage naturally follows the Tao. However, there is a difficulty since the Sage does not show himself in society. So, how can you recognise the Sage? Here we address this issue.
Who is a Sage? How does he behave? What are his guiding principles?
Why does the Sage value things differently? What is his true attainment?
What strategies does the Sage adopt? How are his ways different from the ways of ordinary people?
Some Opinions Received:
The old Tao translations I own come nowhere near this exposition. This is seamlessly connected with the rest of the teaching I have been privileged to attend. Frank, firstname.lastname@example.org.